Back in the days, I subscribed to the philosophy that girls always dissed nice guys for assholes. But over time, I came to realize that that is mostly bullshit.

As self-proclaimed nice guys, we must learn that nothing begets nothing.

Doing things under the precept of a friendship does not mean these girls owe you something. The ones who you call the "assholes" make their intentions known. While we lay back in the cut being as subtle as the difference between white and off-white. We do nice things, say nice things, we have the late night conversations but you are her friend and unless you have said something or she has indicated otherwise, deal with it. Don't be mad when she goes out with other guys because she has you around. If you feel used or unappreciated, stop. Either quit while your ahead or say something, otherwise you'll be wasting your time like investing stock in Apple IIGS.

Just because he tried doesn't make him an asshole. There are genuine nice guys with a little game. He did not succeed where you failed because you did not try so you didn't fail.

If the guy your female friend is dating really is an asshole, say something. Make her see the light. Don't think that by doing all the things her man won't do ala Joe will make her see the light. It won't .

So in conclusion, if you are pretending to be her friend for the hopes of more, stop. If you are nicer (or at least you think you are) than the guy she is dating, so what? If you are soulmates and are meant to be together, you will be, just not by your timetable, by Fate's. And, if you are not making your feelings known and you are hoping she will catch the psychic messages you have been trying to send her for months, stop complaining.

On the other side of the coin…

In reality, most of the self-proclaimed nice guys are just shy.

That's all.

Then, instead of shitting on their heads, what are your suggestions for these shy men?

It's not their fault if this is an inherent personality trait. You can't just tell them to change because if it were so easy the world would be a better place than it is.

So don't say "be confident" or "change" because that's unrealistic (at least as a short term goal)

A fair number of you have bashed such guys that don't possess the self-confidence many of you have said women desire.

What is to become of this portion of the male population? Is being shy a crime with a life sentence?