Remember When...: 100 of My Favorite Memories

Memories are wonderful things if you don't have to deal with the past.
~ Celine from Before Sunset

This will be my last "100" list. Seriously.

1. The party we threw the night before graduation from New York University at Bar 85.
2. Oversleeping for graduation and wearing the clothes I had on at the party under my gown.
3. My first night at NYU when I met Anya and Rashida and we all went to Tower Records.
4. When I tied Anya to her chair so she would finish her paper
5. Getting my first tattoo in Philly in 1999
6. When Nou yelled at me from the stage and accused me a heckling her. Then talking at the bar and becoming great friends immediately
7. Black Lily at Shine on Hannah’s birthday (technically)
8. When Joey convinced the Mrs. Cantino (the Spanish teacher) that he had jumped out the window
9. The first time I went snowboarding with Eva
10. Going all the way to New Hampshire to get furniture for Anya’s apartment and driving back to NYC in the largest U-Haul truck they had on the lot.
11. My first kiss on the bus of Young People’s Day Camp on the last day of camp.
12. The first time I kissed T.Y. at Todd’s house waiting for her father to pick her up
13. The first time I kissed E.B. on her couch after I rushed to her house in Queens from NYU.
14. The first time I kissed F.J. in my car after weeks of just sitting in my car and talking and, well, NOT kissing.
15. Eric and I getting in trouble during our first high school dance at St. Mary’s for dancing too promiscuously with the girls during the reggae portion of the DJ set
16. When Nou, Tank and others who I can’t recall were listening to D’Angelo’s Voodoo for the first time.
17. When I got laid off from Sukin Law Group
18. First time I went to Great Adventure with F.J.
19. After the blackout in 2003, walking down to Jen’s apartment and sitting on her stairs with Suzy, Sheila and Jen drinking her remaining Bud Lights
20. Celebrating the Yankees 1996 World Series win with E.B.’s mother because E.B. didn’t care.
21. Celebrating the Yankees 1999 World Series win on street in front of Third North Dorm. All the bars between 10th and 13th street let out and we stopped traffic until a truck full of cops made us go back inside
22. After an argument before I had to go to work, E.B. driving in the rain from Queens to Broadway Mall in Hicksville to give me a balloon that said “I’m Sorry.”
23. When F.J. made me a makeshift pair of glasses.
24. When Pierre interrupted E.B. and I in bed then decided to hang around and watch Mr. Wrong with us until she left.
    
25. The first Okayplayer reunion in Philadelphia
    
26. When I finished moving into the Harlem apartment and just passed out in my bed
    
27. When none of us could get a rental car, driving down to Atlanta from New York with Kristy, Derreck, Eric, Fatima, Tara and Bill.
28. Going to Chik-Fil-A on the way home
    
29. The first time I went to England to visit Hannah and she brought me to a wine bar with her friends and I pretended to be a "rude American".
30. Watching the Giants beat the 49ers in the NFC Championship game with my brother and his friend Seth
31. Winning that writing award and $500 bond at my 8th Grade graduation.
32. Lance kicking the Nintendo every time I was about to beat him in RBI Baseball via the mercy rule
33. Going camping with E.B. and all her friends
34. Helping Jen paint a room in her house
35. Visiting Angie on the set of Scrubs
36. Mercy Flush Ski Weekend I & II
    
37. Seth: "I think I blew my load on that granny shot."
    
38. Kaiva’s going away party
39. Winning the Unsung Hero Award at the OPR Professional Achievement Awards
40. After Jeremy’s Ale House, K.P. breaking into a Axl Rose impression that caused Nikki, Kevin and I to fall to the ground simultaneously.
41. Tara falling in front of Nevada Smith’s Matrix-style
42. 2002 New Year’s at Kristy’s apartment in Far Rockaway
43. Paintball with Tony, Kevin and T.J.
44. Finally winning Student of the Month in 4th grade
45. When Kerwin and I got drunk on our suitemate's Pepsi that, unbeknown to us, had vodka in it then heading to NeoLounge and havign he best night ever
    
46. Going to Great Adventure with Bill and Yusef
    
47. Hannah's birthday at Kristy's house in which her birthday cake cracked so we wrote "Boom" on it
48. Hugging Anya in Loeb Student Center and cracking her back to which she gave an orgasmic reaction
49. Riding in the "cage" on the way to Great Adventure with Pam, Nikki, Alison, Andrea and Copas
50. My fight with Frederico which resulted in getting hit in the ribs with a shovel and having my finger bitten so I couldn't punch him back
51. When Kenny, Nick and I went into Broadway Mall and stole more than $100 dollars worth of cassette tapes
52. Snowball fights at the dead end of Montauk Court
53. Kerwin and I playing NBA Live until 5 AM because he wouldn't let me go to sleep until he beat me
54. When I accidentally did the Rock Bottom to Jasmine in Chicago
55. Getting pulled over in Port Washington with Todd driving and Andrew, Brian and Eric in tow. Andrew starts singing "Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do?" and Todd freaks out and yells, "Shut the fuck up!"
56. Passing History in Junior year of high school. The teacher said you couldn't pass if you didn't do the homework. I proved him wrong.
57. Sneaking out of art class, jumping over the fences and buying new cassette tapes every Tuesday.
58. Sneaking out of art class to play basketball with Todd, Eric and Rueel.
59. Getting on the bus to go to Roosevelt Field to buy TY a Valentine's Day present, falling asleep in the bus and ending up in Jamaica, Queens.
60. Passing notes in high school with Eva and Jen.
61. Jessica R's overly-extravagant and drama-filled sweet 16 party.
    
62. Dressing like an idiot for high school prom - white gloves, sunglasses, cane and Kangol
63. The first post Ogilvy PR hug from Sheila
    
64. Taking care of my baby cousin Christopher at my grandparents' house in Jamaica
    
65. Getting chased by Brother Joseph in the hallway after he noticed I had shaved my head
66. Going to the Intrepid with Mona for no reason and taking 50 pictures
    
67. Senior formal at NYU until I got drunk, locked out and stuck with a whiny Rafick
68. The Halloween Black Lily show where I dressed as Dr. Evil with my personalized Mini Me
69. Rock Lily when Danophonic Dan tried to jump into the crowd but took too much of a running start and jumped over the crowd
70. Jen and Christine's housewarming party where we all agreed not to show up drunk and we showed up obliterated instead
    
71. Setting my alarm to chest Kevin at midnight at the housewarming party and hitting him so hard, he collapsed
72. Drunkenly walking Crosby around the block at the same housewarming party.
    
73. Getting paid to dress up as Blade at a comic convention
74. In Chicago, walking all the way to the store in the rain and coming back to the hotel empty handed forgetting that I went to the store for food.
75. Attempting to drive to New Jersey with Danophonic Dan and ending up in Deleware
76. Dinners at Tara's apartment before Black Lily shows
    
77. Playing Kickball in Prospect Park and then attempting to play Every Man For Themselves Dodgeball
78. Tara's birthday cake that had an inappropriate message on it
79. Getting drunk on Stella Artois with Hibo in London
80. After a girl he was messing with had left the dorm room, Kerwin and I trying to determine what that foul odor was
81. Playing tackle football in Cantiague Park on Sundays
82. Handing out flyers for Black Lily shows with Nou and Tank in the city
83. Sex
84. Getting chased out of Sherwood Gardens on Halloween for being from Westbury Hills
85. Matt: "What kind of stupid name is 'Hibo'?"
86. Seeing The Ring with Kristy and Eric (spoilers) and a) busting out laughing when the horse jumped off the boat and didn't clear the ledge and b) huddling up and yelling "WHAT THE FUCK?!" when the girl crawled out of the TV
87. Going to a random park, seeing Harold & Kumar Goes To White Castle then going to White Castle and ordering Crave Cases with Eric, Derreck, Bill, Tara and Ian
88. Getting kicked out of English Honors Class twice in 15 minutes: First for being late (I wasn't) and second when I was sent back to class without a detention and I chuckled at Mrs. Hill when he looked at me during attendance
89. My backrub exchange program with Anya
90. When my brother and his friends were riding around the neighborhood with weapons because they thought someone stole me bike
91. When my father foolishly had the barber shave my hair almost bald and I was so embarrassed that I opted to wear my Superman hat in class the next day. The teacher took me outside and told me to show her and it couldn't be that bad and I did and she laughed.
92. Out last day in Amsterdam when Derreck wouldn't let us leave any unfinished business
93. Lining up with Andrea to try to get the perfect space to watch Casablanca in Bryant Park
94. Racing back to the city from my high school reunion because Nikki and Tony were sending me text messages that Kevin was drunkenly making out with a really tall girl
95. The one year in Little League when our team won our division after playing on last place teams for three years
96. When Mary showed me her nipple piercing in Houlihan's in front of the window
97. Seeing the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy in New Jersey from 10 AM to 1 AM at a movie theater in New Jersey with Tia
98. Playing "Red Light" on the bus on the way home from school.
99. Making mix tapes in my brother's room for T.Y. and E.B.
100. When Kerwin, Troy and I had to drag Rafick out of Christine's dorm because he was drunk, professing his love for Christine and wouldn't leave. Then we got him back to our room and he threw up and missed the the trash can and Kerwin kicked him.
     

If you are mentioned somewhere here, thanks for the memories. If not, I'm sure we have some beautiful memories that I just couldn't remember while I was putting this together (did I mention I drink a lot?). Feel free to leave a comment mentioning a memory of us you think I forgot (or if I got one I did post wrong). Otherwise, I look forward to making future memories with you. Bring a camera though. It will be easier for me to remember.

Continue reading Remember When...: 100 of My Favorite Memories

100 Things That Make Me Happy (If Only For a Second)

Another project from Sheila:

1. Will Ferrell's scenes in whatever movie he is in
   
2. New comics on Wednesday
3. Snickers bars
4. New episodes of my favorite shows
5. Hearing a song that is line with what I'm feeling at the moment (if that moment is a good moment, of course)
6. Receiving cards in the mail (not e-cards, USPS style)
7. Receiving hugs in proportion to the hugs I'm giving
8. Trying to have a intelligent conversation with someone under the age of 9
9. This song
10. First kisses
11. Inside jokes
12. False glimmers of hope from crushes
13. Receiving a complement about something I don't necessarily believe about myself
14. The ten seconds between just finishing cleaning your room and starting the process of messing it up again
15. Seeing something I want on sale
16. The moment you realize a movie is going to be one of your favorites
17. Learning something new about someone I care about
18. Not having to get out of bed when other people are at work
19. Sugar
20. Beating the hard part of a video game
21. Winning
22. Being right
23. Having a conversation with a friend who is just as drunk as you are about how drunk you both aren't
24. Holding hands when its cold (locking fingers, not grasping hands)
25. Noticing something cute about someone they may not notice about themselves
26. When one of your favorite movies are on cable and you turn to it and it's at your favorite part
27. When I realize the person I saw a movie with loved it just as much as I did and instead of defending it, we can exchange praise, favorite parts and quotes all the way home.
28. Being finished with a project
29. When an album I've been dying to hear leaks on the internet
30. Soft vanilla ice cream in a cone with rainbow sprinkles
31. Getting comments on my blog especially from friends I didn't know read it
32. Watching recaps of the Yankees or Giants winning on SportsCenter
33. Getting a phone call right after a new episode of 24 or Lost concludes
34. When someone loves a movie I recommended
35. Finding a present that is perfect for someone
36. The first sip of the first beer after a long shitty day
37. When a book turns into something you have to finish, instead of something you are just reading
38. Rilo Kiley songs
39. Telling people who make at least $20,000 more than me what to do
40. Giving somebody something they wanted, especially if they didn't ask for it
41. A good chicken cheesesteak
42. Someone liking something I wrote
43. Not having to do anything
44. Genuine surprises
45. Seeing someone smile at me
46. Being complimented on what I'm wearing
47. Receiving voicemails & text messages from drunk friends
48. Being missed
49. Reading my friends' blogs
50. Having a good week in fantasy football
51. Game winning home runs by the Yankees
52. White Chocolate Mocha Latte from Starbucks
53. Black noodles with chicken from Spice
54. Reading Ask Ausiello on Wednesday morning and talking my friends about it
    
55. Looking at my checking account online and realizing I'm not going to be broke before my next paycheck arrives
56. Kristin Chenowith on Pushing Daisies
57. When the Yankees beat the Mets or the Red Sox
58. When the Mets and the Red Sox lose
59. Seeing pictures of myself that I actually like
60. Getting a back massage of equal or better quality than one I would give myself
61. Finding money in a pair of jeans
62. Finishing all the shows stored on my DVR
63. Shelia's morning instant messenger hugs
64. Tara's "eeeee" when something is hilarious
65. Nikki's 3D dance
66. Andrea's "I wanna see that!" face after a good movie trailer
67. Getting sincerely thanked
68. Seeing my friends who are pregnant
69. Open bars
70. Spring
71. Waking up at my stop on the subway (on the first try)
72. Having a really good idea
73. Welch's grape soda
74. When there are Twizzlers in the vending machine at work
75. When Jack Bauer shoots someone
76. Being done with work for the day or the week
    
77. When a movie I've been dying to see again finally comes out on DVD
78. Getting answers on Lost
79. Tropicana Orange Juice (No pulp)
80. Egg and bacon on a roll in the morning
81. H&H plain bagel, lightly toasted, one butter
82. New Perry Bible Fellowship comic strips
83. Being needed but not manipulated or abused
84. Juvenile humor
85. Getting a new tattoo
86. Being comfortable with someone or something
87. Having all my shirts ironed and put away
88. Meeting someone new who loves things that I love
89. Finishing my bag of comics for the week
90. Seeing someone I miss
91. Soft white chocolate and macadamia nut cookies
92. New t-shirts on Threadless (even if I'm not allowing myself to buy anymore)
93. Getting White Castle after 2 AM after a night of drinking and hanging out
94. Laughing hysterically with friends
95. Epiphanies
96. Seeing someone on the street I don't feel like talking to first so I can avoid them
97. Making someone feel better
98. Getting a blog post out of my system
99. Hearing an amazing album for the first time.
    
100. Making someone else smile...if only for a second
     

Continue reading 100 Things That Make Me Happy (If Only For a Second)

100 Opinions I Hold That Are Open To Discussion

Feel free to disagree with me but I think...

1. ...MTV with their reality based programming is destroying the brains of young white girls everywhere.
   
2. ...BET is matching them step for step on destroying the brain of young African-Americans.
3. ...The only positive thing about the current state of hip-hop is that any kid now thinks he can be a rapper because bar has been lowered so low for what constitutes a "good song." It's nice to have dreams.
4. ...Lost is better than Heroes and it's damn near insulting to compare the two.
5. ...It's nice to support your team and all but until the Mets win at least two more World Series, Mets fans really shouldn't say shit about the Yankees.
6. ...The reason Batman resonates with fans more than Spider-Man and Superman is because he has no powers therefore creating the belief that, however unrealistic, with an unlimited bank account and near psychotic levels of training and dedication, you too can be Batman.
7. ...Women are generally smarter than men when it comes to matters of the heart. So much smarter that they end up out thinking themselves underestimating how dumb a guy can be.
8. ...You can track the decline of society by watching every season of MTV's The Real World in chronological order.
9. ...YouTube and WikiPedia are the two greatest things to happen to cubicle drones.
10. ...Tabloids are destroying what little intelligence the Western World has.
11. ...Men and women both get complacent in long-term relationships and stop doing the cute things that they did in the beginning of the relationships. Women just say something about it.
12. ...Guys love "bitches" almost as much as girls love "bad boys".
13. ...People don't change. They just learn to accept things.
14. ...The reason some guys can't commit a relationship is they are always thinking about what else they can be doing. It's like being a quarterback. One receiver is WIDE OPEN but you still check your other receivers to see if you can slip a pass in there.
15. ...When you are in the early stages of a relationship, it makes you blind to certain things. Most notably, how ridiculously you are acting in public.
16. ...No one can remember when they stopped making out with their significant other.
    
17. ...If Joey ended up with anyone, she should have ended up with Dawson, not Pacey. It was DAWSON'S CREEK not Pacey's Pond.
18. ...The Matrix was not intended to be a trilogy. The Wachowski Brothers lied to get more money.
19. ...The only friends worth keeping are the ones you can not talk to for long periods of time and nothing changes.
20. ...Going out to clubs is overrated.
21. ...Before you buy your favorite sports player's jersey, check out the terms of his contract with his team. Even then, it's still a short term investment.
22. ...Facebook is better than MySpace because the design is the same for every page. MySpace was ruined when they let members add songs and change the design.
23. ..."The Takeover" was better than "Ether" because Jay-Z dissed Nas from the perspective of a fan while Nas, while making a few valid digs, resorted to calling him "ugly" and "gay."
24. ...Denzel Washington shouldn't have won an Oscar for Training Day. He should have won it for Malcolm X.
25. ...It's a travesty that America doesn't have universal health care.
26. ...Carrie ending up with Big after everything he did to her over the course of the series gave all men hope that as long as she loves you, you still have a chance.
27. ...Women's shoes are designed to be comfortable to walk in for 10 minutes tops. That's how long it will take for them to decide to buy the shoe. Then they're proper fucked.
28. ...Guys don't ask other guys for advice on their relationships.
    
29. ...Paris Hilton is the most influential person in the last five years. She redefined (read: lowered the standard) for "celebrity" and was the harbinger of doom for the media.
30. ...Protests and petitions don't change anything.
31. ...The biggest mistake Marvel Comics made was bringing Jean Grey back from the dead.
32. ...The top three Not Ready For Prime Time Players were Bill Murray, Phil Hartman & Gilda Radner.
33. ...Spike Lee uses the movies to see the breast of actresses he finds attractive.
34. ...Female bartending is the most sexually discriminating job next to stripper. But at least there are fat, ugly strippers. If there's a fat,ugly bartender, she's is the owner or having sex with him.
    
35. ...George Lucas was lying when he said he intended Star Wars to have nine parts. He made it up as he went along.
36. ...You shouldn't be watching MTV programming if you are over the age of 30.
37. ..."Cancer" should never be used as a metaphor.
38. ...Women should spend more money on their significant others and not just for gift-giving holidays and birthdays. It's only fair.
39. ...Road House is the greatest B-movie ever made.
40. ...Every third movie of a Marvel film franchise has sucked.
41. ...Batman The Animated Series was the best cartoon based on a comic book character.
42. ...R&B songs are boring when you aren't in a relationship or reminiscing on one.
43. ...Brad Pitt's best role was 12 Monkeys.
44. ...Movies are too long these days.
45. ...Arrested Development (the TV show, not the hip-hop group) was ahead of its time.
46. ...24 is right wing propaganda.
47. ...Love Actually is the best romantic comedy of the last five years.
48. ...The New York Giants will never win a Super Bowl with Eli Manning at quarterback.
49. ...Technology is getting everyone to the point of never having to leave your house. The last step will be a video cell phone (meaning you can see the person you are talking to).
50. ..."Douche" as an insult is in the midst of a renaissance.
51. ...People who think they are special because they don't want an iPod are douches.
    
52. ...Duke should have died in G.I. Joe The Movie.
53. ...People who talk during movies should be sterilized.
54. ...Parenting classes should be given alongside Lamaze classes.
    
55. ...They shouldn't have made a trilogy out of Pirates of the Carribean.
56. ...Die Hard is the greatest action movie ever.
57. ...Tony Soprano was killed.
58. ...The Rock was the best wrestler in the last 20 years.
59. ...Val Klimer was a pretty good Batman but he sucked as Bruce Wayne because he spoke in the same tone.
60. ...Dream On was a more realistic depiction of dating in New York City than Sex & The City.
61. ...Carrie was given a second chance with Aidan so he could be somewhat vilified and Carrie can recover some of the likability she lost when she cheated on him.
62. ...Will Ferrell, while appearing in a number of really bad movies, is incapable of not being funny.
63. ...Adam Sandler has only tried to act in four movies - The Wedding Singer, Punch Drunk Love, Spanglish & Reign Over Me.
    
64. ...Sega Genesis was a better machine that the Nintendo 64 but Nintendo had the 3rd party support.
65. ...Mary J. Blige has one dance step. She should really try to stand still when she sings.
66. ...High Fidelity is the closest we've come to "Bro Flick" (as opposed to a "Chick Flick")
67. ...Living a long boring life is the worst way to die, followed closely by drowning and suffocating.
68. ...If your ass crack shows when you bend over, your jeans do not fit. Take them off and change into something more appropriate.
69. ...It is impossible for a guy not to stare at cleavage at least once. If you don't notice, it means he got his fill while you weren't paying attention.
70. ...Chappelle's Show was funnier than The Chris Rock Show but Chris Rock is a better stand-up comedian.
71. ...Racism will never end.
72. ...Three greatest comic strips of all-time: The Peanuts, The Far Side and Calvin & Hobbes.
73. ...Whole Foods is one of the best places to meet attractive singles in New York City. Better than a bar.
74. ...Fall is the best season because you actually can dress for it and it doesn't rain as much as it does in Spring.
    
75. ...If you are constantly talking to your friends and family about your relationship problems but not to your significant other about your relationship problems, break up.
76. ...Despite the advancements in birth control, you probably shouldn't sleep with someone you couldn't stand to be a part of your life forever. You never know.
77. ...You shouldn't even think about getting married to someone if you can't sit in a room with them and not say anything to one another and not be bothered by that fact.
78. ...You should be allowed to slap guys who have their polo collars popped.
79. ...Monica should not have been able to afford that apartment on Friends. I don't care if it was rent stabilized. Rachel and her weren't consistently employed for the first six seasons.
80. ...It's a cliche to say but Aquaman really was the lamest Justice Leaguer.
81. ..."Bennifer" ruined Ben Affleck's career but Jennifer Lopez seemed to escape with only a few scratches.
82. ...Kevin Smith peaked too soon with Chasing Amy.
83. ...Futurama should have been saved instead of Family Guy.
84. ...You shouldn't date your friends unless the basis of your friendship was mutual attraction therefore making your friendship a trial run at dating.
85. ...DuckTales was the best Disney after school cartoon.
86. ...Relationships with coworkers always end poorly.
87. ...The A Nightmare On Elm Street franchise was ruined when they decided that Freddy Kreuger should be funny.
88. ...The biggest problem with US sitcoms is that they never know when to end. If every show had a five season plan that they stuck to, even if it was a high rated show, the quality of television would improve.
89. ...Kids shouldn't be allowed to read Cosmopolitan and Maxim and magazines like that until they are 18.
90. ...If you could get quality vegetarian dishes at McDonald's prices, there would be more vegetarians.
91. ...Crash (over Brokeback Mountain) was the most ridiculous Academy Award winner for Best Picture in the last 10 years followed by Shakespeare In Love (over Saving Private Ryan).
92. ...Quentin Tarantino abuses the N word in his movies but he's not as bad as Martin Scorsese who has an affinity for racist characters.
93. ...All of Wes Anderson's movies feel like they are taking place at the same time, in the same world, just in different parts of town.
94. ...Lebron James is the future of the NBA but he won't win a title with the Cleveland Cavaliers before his contract is up.
95. ...The future presented in Mike Judge's Idiocracy doesn't seem that improbable.
96. ...Paparazzi are the scum of the Earth.
97. ...Superman flying around the world to save Lois Lane was the worst deus ex machina ever filmed.
98. ...If your name ends in "-quita," your parents have cursed you with a social disadvantage.
99. ...It's harder to find someone you actually want to hold hands with than it is someone to sleep with.
100. ...There has been a song written for every matter of the heart.

Continue reading 100 Opinions I Hold That Are Open To Discussion

100 More Facts About Sean

Since the last one was so popular and I forgot a couple, let's do 100 more...

1. I can't use chopsticks.
2. I have four tattoos.
   
3. I can't tell good stories. Like when people describe something that happens at work and it sounds interesting...I can't do that. it always falls flat.
4. I think I have 15-20 anecdotes that I tell over and over again because I don't think anything else that's happened to me or around me has been that interesting.
5. I spend too much money on alcohol
6. I failed my driver's exam on the first try. The test lasted less than two minutes as I drifted into the lane of oncoming traffic as I was preparing for a left turn.
7. I am not very good at sports. I can't catch fly balls, I shoot basketballs awkwardly and either I can't throw a spiral AND connect with my target.
8. My friend Lance who went on to play college basketball once told me that you could have come out and played basketball with me and gotten really good or stayed home and played video games and read comics. Guess which I went with?
9. My parents bought me a video camera for Christmas one year. Why? I don't know. All I ever did with it was re-enact Wu-Tang Clan videos at my friend's houses.
10. I lost my virginity at 18.
11. My mother only spanked once but it was so bad, I blacked out and have no recollection of the beating. I just woke up in bed like what happened?
12. The reason I love England so much is it was the only non-Jamaica trip I went on as a kid (Canada doesn't count). That and I LOVED DangerMouse as a kid.
    
13. I went to my senior prom with this girl who I was friends with. We really just wanted to go to the prom. Her father picked her up at 11:30 PM on the dot and took her home which was fine because I was in pursuit of someone else.
14. I miss one thing about each of my exes.
15. When I was in 8th grade, I was into heavy metal. My favorite album at the time was Metallica's ...And Justice For All. I had magazine posters of various groups. I was teased by the black kids in school and the neighborhood.
16. I like buying gifts for people.
17. When I was in grade school, I once bought my mother these cheap earrings (but expensive for me) at a fair. She never wore them, keeping them in the original packaging. This coupled with the fact that she kept all the plants I bought her in the downstairs bathroom reminds me why I don't like buying my mother presents.
18. I apparently have a lot of Cancerian-typical mommy issues.
19. I can't swim.
20. I almost drowned in 4th grade at a friend's pool party. I was in an inflatable donut over the deep end and my friend thought it would be funny to run and jump into the donut and kick me out. I went straight to the bottom. Another parent pulled me out.
    
21. The most I ever weighed was 207.
22. I have never attempted to obtain a woman's phone number at a bar, club or any other social gathering.
23. I took two years of high school Spanish, five semesters of Spanish at NYU (you were only required to take four but i failed the competency test and was forced to take a fifth) and I still can't maintain a conversation in Spanish beyond "Hola", "Como estas?", "Asi asi. Y tu?"
24. I'm not sure if I believe in God or a celestial omnipotent being because I actually believe or because of my years of Lutheran Sunday School and Catholic school make it impossible for me NOT to believe in the existence of a divine being.
25. I don't however support religion. They are like different futbol teams in the same league with fans that can act like hooligans.
26. I have over 11,000 songs on my iPod.
    
27. The most tracks I have by one artist is Jay-Z with 167.
28. I have been balding since I was 19.
29. I think people who jaywalk with babies should have their children taken away.
30. I think OJ is innocent but knows who did it. To do all the things they say he did that night would make him a) superhuman and b) the dumbest criminal alive. I just don't think he was both.
    
31. I get nervous around cops.
32. The first time I shaved my head was an accident. It was the day before Senior year yearbook photos and I neglected to get a haircut so I woke my brother up at 5:30 AM to give me a haircut. He ended up cutting off all my hair except a patch in the back. I took my picture and had to shave my head to even it out. Unfortunately, bald heads were forbidden in my school and I had detention until it grew back to a reasonable length.
33. The first album I had sex to was Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite.
34. I wish I could be a better son but I'm too stuck in my ways.
35. 3 or 4 years ago, my father was having a stent put in his heart and I drove him to the hospital for the surgery. Feeling the potential mortality of the situation, he chose this opportunity to tell me, "I wish you had gone to graduate school." I'm still pissed about that.
36. I only eat hot dogs because it gives me excuse to have ketchup.
37. I have two groups of friends who probably won't meet until my wedding or, more likely, my funeral.
38. I have only smoked cigarettes twice - once when I was a little kid and we found a pack at the park we used to play at and we each took a puff and once when I went to England and got drunk and smoked 3-5 of my friend's Marlboro Lights. I thought about smoking for the next 2 days and can see how it might be addicting.
39. I went through this weird period in Junior year of NYU when Sarah McLachlan's Surfacing was my favorite album (Thanks, Eva).
40. I've never dated someone close to my complexion. Not by intention.
    
41. I stopped reading comics in freshman and sophomore year for two reasons: 1) I couldn't afford to take the LIRR to see my girlfriend in Queens and buy comics every week on my crappy pay and 2) I was kind of embarrassed that I read comics and hid it from her.
42. Song vs. song, I still think Jay-Z won.
43. On the morning of 9/11, I left my girlfriend's house, took the bus with my headphones on. There was an announcement but I didn't hear it because I was listening to music. I got on the E train and the train stopped and the conductor said something over the speaker and people started talking but I missed it because I was listening to music. When I got out the subway, I saw the streets were crowded and people were looking up but I didn't notice because I was late to work. When I got to work, it was pretty empty and I didn't have Internet access so I didn't know what had happened until about 9:15 AM when my co-worker came in.
44. My favorite color is red.
45. If I drink too much Stella Artois, I start speaking in a British accent. This has become known as "Cockney Sean."
    
46. I have never cheated on a girlfriend.
47. I suspect one girlfriend actually cheated on me, while I was definitely the victim of a couple of emotional affairs.
48. If I could be stuck on a deserted island with one book, it would be The Complete Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson.
49. In 8th grade during class, one of my classmates decided to dry hump his hand during Science class. I told a couple of some people and it spread like wildfire and we were all laughing at him. Someone told it was me who started saying it and, despite the best effort of my female classmates, he punched me in my chest and sent me straight to the nurse.
50. I can deal with racism and all the other shit that comes with being a Black man...but the razor bumps are a pain in the ass.
51. I love the words "myriad" and "delve".
52. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't surf the net when I get bored at work which is often.
53. I can't snowboard but that doesn't stop me from trying.
54. I miss riding on the LIRR because of all the time I had to read.
55. I'm pro-life.
56. I loved each of my girlfriends or at least what I understood love to be at the time I was with them.
57. I have over 300 DVDs that I rarely, if ever, watch.
58. When I was a kid, my brother had me intercept any mail that would piss my parents off - letters from school, parking tickets, credit card bills.
    
59. The only pets I ever had were gerbils. The plan was to buy a male and female gerbil and sell the babies but Petworld gave me three male gerbils before they finally gave me a female one. Then it turned into a gerbil rape cage. I only sold one gerbil. They started to multiply quickly. There wasn't enough food so they started eating each other. At the peak, I had 21. My room smelled of gerbil piss 24/7. My father let them into the woods when I wasn't home...or so he said.
60. I'm not secretive. I'm just not forthcoming with personal information unless asked direct questions. Luckily, most people are content to talk about themselves.
61. The scar under my right eye is from a bike accident I got into when I was 13.
62. If there was a fire in my apartment or my office, I'd be okay as long as I had my iPod.
63. I was a prolific writer of notes in high school. I had five shoe boxes of notes: one each for notes from Jen, Eva, Tina and Elysia, and one more miscellaneous notes. I held onto to them until I was about 25 when my parents finally threw them away. I would love to read them again.
64. I like being a "boyfriend."
65. That said, at this stage in my life, I can't even imagine what kind of girl it would take to make me be a boyfriend again.
66. I used to hate when people say "You don't sound Black." They don't realize how stupid that concept is.
67. I can tell when I like someone when I have to stop myself from buying things for them that I'd think they'd like.
68. I can't drink and "eat sandwiches*" in the same outing. The combination causes my brain to shut down completely.
69. In my History class, the teacher told us on the first day that if you didn't do the homeworks, you wouldn't pass the class. I took it as a personal challenge. I never did the homeworks but aced all the tests and papers. I got a 78.
    
70. If I could grow my hair back, I'd grow back a hi-top fade like I had in 8th grade.
71. I've never gotten a flu shot. I look forward to the flu because it gives me a reason to not go to work.
72. The last memory of my maternal grandmother is when I was 10 or 11 and at her house in Montego Bay with my Aunt Rose and she was talking to me but her patois was so thick, I caught maybe every 3rd or 4th word. I wonder what she was trying to say. It sounded important.
73. I don't think I exchanged more than 10 words with my maternal grandfather before he died.
74. I used to love theorizing about love and relationships. Now, I just consigned to being as confused as everyone else.
75. My blood type is O Positive.
76. I don't think I could name all 50 states.
77. Sometimes I see people from college or high school on the street and I purposely avoid them because I don't feel enduring the "So what's going on with you?" part of the conversation.
78. I am highly neophobic when it comes to food.
79. I have a hairy back and chest. I'm not Sasquatch hairy but I still hate it.
80. I'd shave my back and chest but a) I can't reach my certain parts of my back, b) I'd probably slack and end up itchy all day and c) everyone knows I have a hairy chest (at least) so it would be like getting a toupee or hair plugs.
81. Fall is my favorite season, followed by Spring.
82. My bike got stolen once from the mall. My father and my friend's father drove around with baseball bats and got it back.
83. My brother thought my bike got stolen once. This little kid in the neighborhood saw me riding with my friends and this kid I knew but he didn't yelled, "Get off your bike, Sean!" The kid ran to my house and told my brother. They drove around the neighborhood heavily armed looking for my bike until I told them it was a misunderstanding.
84. I've only gotten into one real fight with my brother and it was over a camera of his I broke when I was a kid. It lasted all of 20 minutes.
85. I have no sense of direction.
86. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with You Can't Do That On Television. I think that's why I like Alanis Morissette so much.
87. I fall asleep in the fetal position.
88. I don't like jelly. I eat peanut butter only sandwiches.
89. Movies I will hold against you if you haven't seen/hate:
    
• say anything...
• The Princess Bride
• Before Sunrise
• Before Sunset
• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
• High Fidelity
90. I once went out with a girl I liked and everything was going fine until she told me Meteor Man was one of her favorite movies.
91. People I've been told I look like: Andre Braugher, Djimon Hounsou, Steve Harris (from The Practice), Ernest Thomas (Raj from What's Happening).
92. I don't agree with any of them.
93. I have a problem hitting "Send" on e-mails before re-reading what I wrote.
94. The night John Starks shot 2-18 from the field in Game 7 of the 1994 NBA Finals was one of the saddest nights of my life. I turned off the TV before the game ended so i didn't have to see the celebration and tried to make myself go to sleep.
95. I was a Boy Scout for a couple of years. My father pulled me out because he thought someone was dressed as a Ku Klux Klan member at the Halloween party. I didn't find out about this until years after the fact. If he had told me, I would have informed him that it was just someone dressed as a ghost.
96. My first job was at Hicks Nurseries. I helped load packages into cars amongst other dirty work. We frequently received tips for our work. The highlight of my tenure as my best friend mother showed up and I loaded eight bags of manure into her Pathfinder on a hot ass day. She gave fifty cents as a tip. It was the cheapest tip I received in the many months I worked there.
    
97. I always need to have a cover on me in bed, preferably my comforter. If it's too hot, I'll make my room cold enough to compensate.
98. I was so freaked out after The Blair Witch Project that I didn't sleep the night I saw it and I was flying to Miami the next day at 7 AM. I stayed up talking to Tara on AIM who I saw the movie with for as long as she'd stay awake.
99. If I talk to someone with a British accent too long, I start speaking in one as well.
100. I don't know if I act like a prototypical Cancer because I am a prototypical Cancer or because I've read enough horoscope books to know how a prototypical Cancer acts.

And that is another 100. I don't think I'll be doing this again. Otherwise, I'll post something I'll regret.

* How I Met Your Mother reference

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100 Facts Follow-up: Questions On Love And Other Diseases

So after reading my 100 Facts About Sean post, my ex-pimpstress and friend from the Netherlands, Amal had a bunch of questions for me and I promised I'd answer them here:

1. Are you satisfied with life and environment? If not, what would you like to change?

I don't know if I'd use the word "satisfied." I don't look around my messy room, stacks of DVDs, unironed shirts and think "This is the life." It's A life. That's the problem. I don't know what I'd change about things if I could so there's no reason to complain.

2. If you could change the public perception of you, what would you change and what not?

I really don't know what people think of me, so I don't know what I'd change. Believe me, I prefer to not know what anyone thinks of me. My fragile ego couldn't take it.

3. Why aren't you scooping up your part of the pussy on a platter service in New York?

Who knows? I really should be getting my piece of the pie, right? I find new reasons time every night I find myself in a situation. My current favorite is "I live too far away." Ok, I'm not really answering this. I guess I'm shy around strangers but when I finally feel comfortable, I'm not shy enough and I start blathering and effectively get "pussy" removed from Today's Specials. And when that's not the case, I just don't feel like it.

4. In what way did your parents relationship influence your way of handling relationships?

They were a "How Not To" as far as relationships go. Growing up, they made me MORE affectionate towards my friends, more "huggy" I guess, to fill the lack at home. The irony is, then my mom started to go to church and she got all affectionate and I can't reciprocate because it's awkward to me. Go figure.

5. Are you the male version of a Bag Lady?

Am I to assume you are referring to the Erykah Badu song? If so, definitely not. I'm rather proud of the lack of baggage I'm carrying with me. I don't have trust issues or issues with getting hurt again from previous relationships. I shed that skin a long time ago.

6. It is quite hip to be a nerd, why aren't you cashing on this phenomenon?

I'm not a hip nerd. There are such things as being a hip nerd, I don't know how to be it. That would require me to rein in my passion about the things I'm nerdy about - comics, TV, movies - and I can't seem to pull it off. There is nothing more unattractive then when I start talking about Lost to some unassuming women who mentioned she watches. NOTHING. I almost have an out of body experience and start yelling to myself, "She doesn't care about your theory about Desmond's time loop being the key to preventing the future that Jack and Kate currently reside in."

7. Why aren't you moving to London? As a young American of Jamaican descendant, you would win the jackpot.

A) Because the U.S. dollar isn't worth shit there which means I'd have to save DOUBLE the money to pull it off and B) I don't have the kind of job skills that I can take anywhere...yet.

8. Why do you fear attention?

I don't fear attention, I just don't respond well to it. I never accept compliments as the truth. Perfect example, any time someone says I've lost weight at work, I always say, it's just what I'm wearing today...no matter what I'm wearing. I don't want to be forgotten but I prefer to not be noticed.

9. To quote the character Celine from Before Sunrise; what's a problem for you?

Accepting situations as they are without seeking to change them.

10. Do you have any unordinary ideas on love and other diseases? If so, share the wealth.

I used to think I knew everything about love. I would have weekly epiphanies about love especially in the last few years. Now I just don't think about it. I used to seek out love like it was my life's goal. Now, I don't miss being loved or loving another. I'll settle for appreciation.

Any other questions?

Continue reading 100 Facts Follow-up: Questions On Love And Other Diseases

100 Facts About Sean

Inspired (practically tasked) by SMZ, here are 100 facts about yours truly. This turned into more "confessions" than "facts" but whatever. Shall we begin?

1. I am allergic to animal dander and dust which does not stop me from petting animals or inspire me to dust my room weekly.
2. I used to be mad at my brother because he was allowed to drink orange soda at breakfast (he was allergic to orange juice)
3. In high school, my friend Eric and I were referred to as Raj and Rerun from What's Happening. It was such a popular nickname/taunt (depending on your perspective) that the English teacher started humming the What's Happening theme song when he found out. Dick.
4. I have had three girlfriends.
   
5. The length of the relationship and time between the end of the previous relationship and start of the new relationship has grew exponentially each time.
6. I fooled around with my GRE study partner the night before the test. I blame that incident on my low test score.
7. I took an thrown-away essay idea from my best friend in 8th grade and turned it into an award-winning essay.
   
8. My first kiss was the last day of Young People's Day Camp on the bus ride home. Her name was Jen and I was ten (yes, I know that rhymed).
9. I haven't had a check-up in almost 10 years. I'm not sure if I'm afraid something is actually wrong with me or that nothing is wrong with me.
10. The summer after 8th grade, I went to Jamaica and bought this "Friendship" banner thingy with a poem on it for a girl I had a huge crush on. I could never work up the nerve to give it to her even though I had three opportunities. It currently hangs in my bedroom.
11. I have never broken a bone in my body.
12. From junior year of high school to junior year of college, I was a semi-serious watcher of Days of Our Lives.
13. My mother once flat out asked me if I'm gay. Then a couple of days later, I went into the city the same day as the Gay Pride Parade. When I saw my mother again, she said "So, what did you do in the city on Sunday?"
14. The first cassette tapes that I owned were Batman soundtrack, Ghostbusters II soundtrack and Leaders of the New School's A Future Without A Past.
15. I cried when Optimus Prime died in Transformers The Movie.
16. I used to have my brother forge almost anything that required my parents' signature - detentions, permission slips, etc.
17. I got caught shoplifting twice - the last time stealing a pack of batteries for a girl.
18. I really don't get worked up about attractive celebrities but I pretend to in public to fit in.
19. I don't know anything about cars.
20. I'm uncomfortable walking around without a soundtrack.
21. I didn't hear the N-word in reference to me until high school.
22. The first real racism I experienced in life was when I girl who I was really close with freshman year of high school was told by her mother she wasn't allowed to hang out with or speak to me anymore.
23. After me and girlfriend #2 broke up in Sophmore year, I locked myself in my room and played PlayStation in the dark for two weeks. She bought me the PlayStation two days before we broke up.
    
24. My favorite name as a child growing up was "Alicia."
    
25. I was once asked by a friend, "When are you going to start thinking about yourself?" I still don't have an answer for her.
26. If Angieee and Rich has hired me to work on the Black Lily website (despite being incredibly unqualified), I would have moved to Philly. When it didn't happen (coupled with being on my last few unemployment checks), I cried...hard.
27. I hug people the way I do because I don't know any other way.
28. If I deleted 75% of the hip-hop off my iPod, I don't think I'd miss it.
29. I once got stung on the bottom lip by a mosquito in grade school. My lip ballooned to a size of a Ball Park frank.
30. I used to be so insecure about my appearance that I wouldn't look at myself with my glasses on.
31. I used to cry when my glasses got knocked off my face because I was afraid to tell my father I broke them.
    
32. If I have to decide between "making a move on someone" or "just being friends and living with being attracted to them for the duration of our friendship," 9.87 times out of ten, I will choose the later.
33. I give pretty good massages.*
34. With a couple of rare exceptions, I don't think there is such a thing as a "good kisser" and a "bad kisser," just bad rhythmic matches
35. That said, I'm a good kisser.*
36. The only comfort of this blog is I know only 10 people read it, only four regularly.
37. My dream job is working at a Mom & Pop video rental store...making 70K a year.
38. After Fact #23 stopped happening, I took to renting videos non-stop. I rented over 45 movies from January to May of Sophomore year. The store I rented from considered giving me my own "Sean's Picks" section.
39. Unless I'm drunk or really sleepy, I fall sleep to one of my chill mixes on my iPod.
40. I love Snickers bars above all other chocolate candy bars.
41. I've never thrown a punch in the context of a fight.
42. I have, however, been punched twice in the face and a number of times in the body, kicked in the face and hit with a shovel.
43. I rarely remember my dreams.
44. If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be England.
45. I've never been to Disneyland or Disneyworld.
46. I have eczema.
47. I am bad with money.
48. I have been reading comic books almost as long as I have been reading.
49. I took Psychology as a major in college because I listened and dealt with so many people's problems, I thought I might as well get paid for it.
50. I live in constant fear that one day someone at work is going to realize I don't know what I'm talking about and then I'll be let go.
51. I can consume anything grape-flavored but I'm not nuts about grapes.
52. I've Google-d a fair number of people who I've had interest in.
53. I bite my nails.
54. I was convinced my parents were going to get a divorce as soon as I was 18 or 21.
55. I was kind of disappointed when they didn't.
    
56. I tried to get dreads put in my hair in college but the girl did a crappy job.
57. There is cancer in my family.
58. I hate when my favorite song on an album becomes a single.
59. I used to love to argue. Now, if someone disagrees with me, I'll concede.
60. My favorite ice cream was Dolly Madison's Vanilla. They stopped making it. They only make Vanilla Bean. It's just not the same.
61. I don't feel like I fit in with my extended family.
62. At my job at the NYU Medical Library, this cute little 16 year old used to flirt with me all the time (I was 20 I think) and one day she kissed me on the lips when I wasn't paying attention. I freaked out and I was like, "Don't do that again."
63. I've been in three car accidents but only once as the driver.
64. I have imagined what it would be like to get into a fist fight with most of my male friends and if I could take them in a fight (guess who wins in my imagination?).
65. I thought I'd be married by now.
66. I get very uncomfortable when people cry in front of me.
67. I haven't bought a CD since Jay-Z's The Black Album.
68. I'm surprised I ever wanted to get married after growing up in my house.
69. My left leg is longer than my right leg. I was supposed to wear an insert in my right shoe but I always forgot.
70. I have sclerosis. The doctor thought I might have to wear a back brace at one time.
    
71. My mother makes me self-conscious about my weight.
72. I used to cheat on tests in high school.
73. I didn't believe in homework. That's why God invented a long bus ride to school, free period and lunch.
74. My favorite Shakespeare play to read is Macbeth.
75. I didn't get Student of the Month in St. Brigid's until 4th grade.
76. I used to sneak out of Art Class in St. Mary's High School in Sophomore year to hop over the fence, go to The Wiz and buy new music.
77. I don't respond well to attention.
78. I wish I went to USC or Syracuse instead of NYU...but only during college football season.
79. If I had a choice, I'd rather a daughter over a son.
80. I don't have a plan for the future, near or distant.
81. I hope I live long enough to see the series finale of Lost.
82. I was sadder when Phil Hartman died than when my grandmother died (in my defense, I only met my grandmother twice).
83. My pinky toes are both pretty gnarled up from stubbing them constantly on my bed growing up. I wish they would have fallen out so I could get a do over.
84. I miss driving around listening to music.
85. I want to learn two languages but I just don't have the patience.
86. I always bring my camera because a) I like taking pictures of my friends and b) it assures that I will be in the least amount of pictures.
87. I love talking about TV shows. I think it's the only thing I'm really passionate about anymore.
88. I played Little League for five years and I sucked for four of them. My last year, I was so below-average, my coaches used to ask me to lean into pitches to try to get hit.
89. I went to Lutheran Sunday School and Confirmation school until my parents didn't feel like driving me anymore so I never got confirmed.
90. I didn't get into football until the Giants beat the 49ers in the NFC Championship Game in 1990.
91. Kids aren't interesting to me until they can talk.
92. I got my ear pierced when I was 13. My friend Lance disinfected one of my mother's earrings, put ice on my ear lobe and just popped it through. My parent's didn't notice for almost a year.
93. If I had a job that paid well and would let me get away with it, I would pierce my nose and tattoo my forearms.
94. In high school, I used to talk to my friend on the phone so much, my mother had a $300 phone bill. She was the friend referred to in Fact #22.
95. On my first day of NYU, while walking around the city, this guy asked me for directions, then followed me around and asked if I wanted to hang out with him. I said "No thanks," immediately went back to my dorm and changed my clothes.
96. I used to be in a children's choir. Me and this girl were supposed to be the featured singers. Then puberty kicked in.
97. I hate hearing my voice on recordings or videos.
98. I prefer white wine to red wine but always feel awkward when I'm the only guy drinking white.
99. I've written three angry, emotional e-mails that I know have made the recipients cry.
100. I wish I still knew how to write like that

And, we're done!

* So I've been told

Continue reading 100 Facts About Sean